


I'll Never Go Back

by carriecmoney



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Sex Talk, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-15 06:40:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1295212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carriecmoney/pseuds/carriecmoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, college relationships are hard. And there are times when they're not. A snowballing sexstorm of friends and lovers told through text messages, and their fallouts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. TUESDAY: I'll Never Go Back

**Author's Note:**

> {A/N: So this is my first submission to the SnK fandom... oh my God I'm so screwed. Anyway, this was funny when I wrote it last night/this morning, hopefully it's still funny to not-me.  
> Another warning for texting, lots of texting.  
> [tumblr](http://carriecmoney.tumblr.com)}

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: So this is my first submission to the SnK fandom... oh my God I'm so screwed. Anyway, this was funny when I wrote it last night/this morning, hopefully it's still funny to not-me.  
> Another warning for texting, lots of texting.}

From: Marco Polo  
Hey so I would like to have sex before I graduate.  
Tues, May 5, 4:12 pm

From: Marco Polo                                                  
With you.  
Tues, May 5, 4:13 pm

From: Jean  
Shit shit okay where are you I can be there in 5  
Tues, May 5, 4:14 pm

From: Marco Polo  
Uh. In the student center?  
Tues, May 5, 4:15 pm

From: Marco Polo  
I didn’t mean right now  
Tues, May 5, 4:17 pm

From: Marco Polo  
Although now is okay  
Tues, May 5, 4:17 pm

From: Jean  
Fuck okay coming to snatch you now  
Tues, May 5, 4:19 pm

* * *

From: Jeannie Boy  
SEXILE ALERT! YOU HAVE MAYBE 30 MINS  
Tues, May 5, 4:18 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
Oh my god it’s a tues afternoon wtf jk  
Tues, May 5, 4:20 pm

From: Armindo  
I second the wtf motion, who on earth is worth me studying for calc in the lounge  
Tues, May 5, 4:22 pm

From: Jeannie Boy  
ILL TELL YOU LATER AFTER I DO HIM  
Tues, May 5, 4:23 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
HIM??? DO WE KNOW HIM?  
Tues, May 5, 4:24 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
YEAH GET IT BOI  
Tues, May 5, 4:25 pm

* * *

From: Sasha Fierce  
Oh my actual god you wont believe what I just saw in the stucen  
Tues, May 5, 4:24 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
A giant whale catapulting from the ocean into the book fountain  
Tues, May 5, 4:26 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
No but that is kickass  
Tues, May 5, 4:27 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
JeanK just ran in and grabbed marco polo by the collar  
Tues, May 5, 4:28 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
WHATTTTTTTT  
Tues, May 5, 4:28 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
Yeah theyre like staring into each others eyes and touching noses and shit  
Tues, May 5, 4:29 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
AAAH KISSING??  
Tues, May 5, 4:30 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
Oh they stopped. Damn.  
Tues, May 5, 4:32 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
Please don’t be joking omfg  
Tues, May 5, 4:33 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
[IMG_05051634.jpg] Dead serious  
Tues, May 5, 4:34 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
GRAHHHH!!!!  
Tues, May 5, 4:36 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
No why are they leaving I wanted to get popcorn  
Tues, May 5, 4:38 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
JK sent a sexile text like 5 mins ago I will hide and keep you posted  
Tues, May 5, 4:40 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
You are my one true love  
Tues, May 5, 4:41 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
I know I know get in line bb <3  
Tues, May 5, 4:42 pm

* * *

 

From: Connie Springroll  
ITS MARCO HES FUCKING MARCO  
Tues, May 5, 4:30 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
OH MY GOD  
Tues, May 5, 4:31 pm

From: Armindo  
Well at least hes worth me moving to the study room  
Tues, May 5, 4:31 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
Sash was doing public recon I am going to hide and do private recon  
Tues, May 5, 4:33 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
Pics or it didn’t happen why am I stuck in class  
Tues, May 5, 4:35 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
Because ur fuckin lame  
Tues, May 5, 4:35 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
SHIT THEYRE HERE OMG  
Tues, May 5, 4:37 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
Are they makin out yet  
Tues, May 5, 4:38 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
I dunno im hiding in my room I don’t hear anything gdi  
Tues, May 5, 4:39 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
THEYRE TOTALLY MAKIN OUT ON MY DOOR SHITFUCK  
Tues, May 5, 4:41 pm

From: Armindo  
Ruin the mood. Knock.  
Tues, May 5, 4:42 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
Evil little bastard. Do it.  
Tues, May 5, 4:43 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
Too late theyre on JK’s door now  
Tues, May 5, 4:44 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
And now theyre in  
Tues, May 5, 4:44 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
Are they saying anything embarrassing yet  
Tues, May 5, 4:47 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
Theyre like super quiet actually its freakin me out  
Tues, May 5, 4:48 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
Make spooky ghost noises  
Tues, May 5, 4:49 pm

From: Armindo  
Say youre the ghost of hookups past come to spoil his sexual encounters  
Tues, May 5, 4:50 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
I love you so fuckin much  
Tues, May 5, 4:50 pm

* * *

From: Bonnie Connie  
They have arrived  
Tues, May 5, 4:37 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
Fantastic  
Tues, May 5, 4:38 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
Theyre makin out ON MY DOOR  
Tues, May 5, 4:40 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
OPEN IT DO IT  
Tues, May 5, 4:42 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
Eren+armin told me to knock obvs you are the more evil one congrats  
Tues, May 5, 4:45 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
I shall wear this title with honor  
Tues, May 5, 4:46 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
Omg who else should I tell about this  
Tues, May 5, 4:47 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
I dunno are they doin anything crazy/worth mentioning  
Tues, May 5, 4:48 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
Uh not really theyre actually like super quiet  
Tues, May 5, 4:49 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
I can hear the bed moving but not a lot and no ones saying anything  
Tues, May 5, 4:49 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
Borrrriiiinngggggg  
Tues, May 5, 4:49 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
I KNOW AND NOW IM STUCK SAVE ME  
Tues, May 5, 4:51 pm

From: Sasha Fierce  
I could come over and we could have SUPERLOUD sex to make up for it  
Tues, May 5, 4:52 pm

From: Bonnie Connie  
Now we’re talkin get your ass over here  
Tues, May 5, 4:53 pm

* * *

From: Jaegermeister  
ok class is over im coming home to get in on this  
Tues, May 5, 4:56 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
Coooonnnniiiieeeeeeeee  
Tues, May 5, 4:59 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
Sorry bros theyre boring as fuck so sash is coming over so we can scream in their ears ;)  
Tues, May 5, 5:00 pm

From: Jeagermeister  
What omg gross why is my apt full of gross  
Tues, May 5, 5:02 pm

From: Armindo  
… I wouldn’t be opposed to joining the gross……..  
Tues, May 5, 5:05 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
Hell yeah you two totally come mark the couch up or something well have a sex party  
Tues, May 5, 5:06 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
Ew, couch? Grosssss. All of this is gross. Sex is gross. Im moving out  
Tues, May 5, 5:08 pm

From: Armindo  
Yeah I totally meant finding other people not me and eren duh  
Tues, May 5, 5:09 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
What you mean you two haven’t been banging it up over there  
Tues, May 5, 5:10 pm

From: Jaegermeister  
I AM MOVING OUT  
Tues, May 5, 5:11 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
DUDES GET YOUR SHITS TOGETHER OMG I CANT BELIEVE THIS  
Tues, May 5, 5:12 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
SASHA CANT EITHER WE ARE POSTPONING OUR BONING UNTIL THIS HAPPENS  
Tues, May 5, 5:13 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
EREN GET BACK HERE AND IN ARMINS BED. ARMIN GET IN YOUR BED.  
Tues, May 5, 5:13 pm

From: Armindo  
Im pretty sure this constitutes as sexual harassment  
Tues, May 5, 5:15 pm

From: Connie Springroll  
NOT WHEN ITS FATE NOW DROP THE CALC AND ROLL OVER HERE  
Tues, May 5, 5:16 pm

* * *

From: Eren  
HELP CONNIE/SASHA ARE TRYING TO MAKE ME AND ARMIN HAVE SEX  
Tues, May 5, 5:11 pm

From: Mikasa  
Finally.  
Tues, May 5, 5:13 pm

From: Eren  
MIIIIKKAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAA  
Tues, May 5, 5:14 pm

* * *

From: Mi Kasa  
I win. Pay up.  
Tues, May 5, 5:14 pm

From: Ann.E  
No way. Howd you get your boys to hook up before mine. Mine are so. Gay. I don’t believe you.  
Tues, May 5, 5:16 pm

From: Mi Kasa  
Apparently connie+sasha are locking them together somewhere. I win.  
Tues, May 5, 5:17 pm

From: Ann.E  
Pics or it didn’t happen  
Tues, May 5, 5:19 pm

From: Mi Kasa  
On it  
Tues, May 5, 5:21 pm

* * *

From: Crazy Scarf Bitch  
I need you to let me into your building  
Tues, May 5, 5:20 pm

From: Ymir  
Make your manbitches do it  
Tues, May 5, 5:23 pm

From: Crazy Scarf Bitch  
No theyre having sex and I need to break in to collect photographic evidence  
Tues, May 5, 5:24 pm

From: Ymir  
Shit they haven’t done it already? Damn girl I got yo back  
Tues, May 5, 5:25 pm

* * *

From: Bananannie  
I need you to go find bertl and fuck him right now so I don’t lose $50  
Tues, May 5, 5:19 pm

From: Brauny  
What  
Tues, May 5, 5:22 pm

From: Bananannie  
Just do it  
Tues, May 5, 5:23 pm

From: Brauny  
Why should I  
Tues, May 5, 5:24 pm

From: Bananannie  
Because he loves you. He wants your hard dick.  
Tues, May 5, 5:25 pm

From: Brauny  
Youre lying.  
Tues, May 5, 5:27 pm

From: Bananannie  
…. Oh my god. You are the dumbest. So dumb. Go find bertl and tell him you want his dick too. Hurry  
Tues, May 5, 5:28 pm

From: Brauny  
Why do you want me to hurry  
Tues, May 5, 5:29 pm

From: Bananannie  
Bc I don’t have $50 to pay miks with  
Tues, May 5, 5:29 pm

* * *

From: Reiner  
Hey big b where you at  
Tues, May 5, 5:30 pm

From: Big B  
Uh at the apt? Why?  
Tues, May 5, 5:33 pm

From: Reiner  
Because annie’s gonna lose a bet if we don’t fuck asap  
Tues, May 5, 5:35 pm

From: Big B  
WHAT  
Tues, May 5, 5:35 pm

From: Reiner  
Yeah so do you wanna fuck or not?  
Tues, May 5, 5:36 pm

From: Big B  
Uuuuuuuuuhhhhh  
Tues, May 5, 5:37 pm

From: Reiner  
You got like 2 secs to think about it cause I wanna fuck you so hard  
Tues, May 5, 5:37 pm

From: Big B  
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH  
Tues, May 5, 5:39 pm

* * *

From: Mi Kasa  
[IMG_05051748.jpg] Pay up.  
Tues, May 5 5:50 pm

From: Ann.E  
Fuck off  
Tues, May 5 5:52 pm

From: Ann.E  
[IMG_05051754.jpg] It’s a draw  
Tues, May 5 5:55 pm

From: Mi Kasa  
Take me out to dinner and were even  
Tues, May 5 5:57 pm

From: Ann.E  
Deal. Meet you at 7 in front of your dorm  
Tues, May 5 5:59 pm

* * *

 

From: Ymir  
Apparently half of campus is sleeping together atm.  
Tues, May 5 6:12 pm

From: Kristoria  
People we know?  
Tues, May 5 6:14 pm

From: Ymir  
Yeah I followed miks to eren+armin’s room bc she wanted evidence of them being a thing and sash+con were screeching and jk’s door was closed  
Tues, May 5 6:16 pm

From: Ymir  
And apparently she and annie tied on a bet over who could get their gay best friends to fuck first  
Tues, May 5 6:17 pm

From: Kristoria  
… Wait marco totally told me he was gonna suck it up and ask jean out or something  
Tues, May 5 6:20 pm

From: Ymir  
Oh hell no. I bet this is all his fault. Dunno how but I bet it is  
Tues, May 5 6:22 pm

From: Kristoria  
Well what better time than dead week before we graduate for everyone to sleep together right  
Tues, May 5 6:24 pm 

* * *

 

From: Ymir  
Everyone we know is having sex with each other and its all your fault  
Tues, May 5 6:23 pm

From: Freckle Bitch  
You know id feel bad. Except that I don’t. Bc sex is great  
Tues, May 5 7:35 pm

From: Ymir  
You do have a point there freckle bitch  
Tues, May 5 7:44 pm

From: Freckle Bitch  
I got to suck jean’s dick and it was the best thing ever  
Tues, May 5 8:12 pm

From: Ymir  
Never say the word dick to me ever again. But congrats on the sex.  
Tues, May 5 8:15 pm

From: Freckle Bitch  
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)  
Tues, May 5 8:39 pm


	2. TUESDAY: Literally Just Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean/Marco

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {A/N: I couldn't resist. Here, have a week of followups to the crazy text sexstorm of chapter 1.}

As their friend circle’s world crashed outside Jean’s room, the two that had escaped the maelstrom were curled up quiet, twisted in sheets and boxers and long legs. The slight sweat was cooling between them, but that’s what duvets were for. Jean rested his cheek on Marco’s shoulder, slipping into the dip there, and counted the freckles on the back of Marco’s hands.

“So, what now?”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Jean snapped, rolling over to pin Marco to his bed with more than just a head and shoulder. Marco coughed as the breath was pushed out of him, but he smiled, laying a hand on the small of Jean’s back. All of Jean’s skin lit on fire at that, but he just scowled. “You started it.”

Marco laughed, craned up to kiss him smartly. “That I did.” He squirmed a little so that Jean’s inelegant sprawl slotted him between his legs instead, relieving the pressure of a bony hip on his. “So that means you wanna keep on keepin’?”

“ _Hell_ yeah.” Jean ducked into Marco’s neck so he didn’t have to watch the corner of his eyes crinkle every time Jean opened his mouth. “But, like, we’re graduating in two weeks. Less than that.” Marco hummed. “So, what, we just have a lot of sex for a week and then never see each other again?”

“Well I _hope_ not.” Marco grinned and rolled his hips, just once. “Although that sex thing sounds nice.”

“Oh my _God,_ how did we _ever_ think you were an innocent.” Marco laughed, in Jean’s ear and through his ribcage. Jean squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his face more into Marco’s neck and less into the pillow behind it. “Take me with you to Milwaukee.”

“It’s Minneapolis, Jean.” Fingernails pinched at Jean’s spine. “And, what.”

Jean heaved himself up to his elbows, tangling his fingers in Marco’s already finger-tangled hair so he could stare at him. “I’ll come with you, if you let me. My parents’ll be glad that I’m not cluttering up the house with my unemployment.” He grinned, and Marco licked at his lips. “I’ll get a job. Be your roommate that you have sex with. Figure it out in Madison.”

“ _Minneapolis_.”

“Yeah, whatever, Midwest with an M, I’m close enough.” Jean closed his eyes and knocked foreheads with Marco to hit away the cold waterfall of blood in his ears. “Can I?” Marco’s breath fluttered hot and wet across his chin. “I don’t wanna force you.”

Marco chuckled, down to their pressed stomachs. “Precious.” A butterfly kiss. “Of course you can be my roommate.”

“That you have sex with.” They both laughed at that, and Marco rolled them, careful to avoid duvet twisting and edge falling. It was his turn to hover, a glint in his eye that Jean was coming to love.

“About that part.”


	3. WEDNESDAY: But, Man, Screw It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reiner/Bertholdt (Bertl because I'm lazy)

WEDNESDAY: But, Man, Screw It 

When Bertl woke up, the bed was warm, empty, but most importantly, _not his_.

He jolted up, head still foggy, and blinked around. Not his, but familiar. He fell back against the pillow, the mattress groaning in time with him. Definitely familiar.

He let himself moan about his plight for a good ten minutes, judging from the alarm clock half-hidden by a pair of jeans. Waking up in his roommate/best friend/on-and-off love of his life, naked, and very, very sober didn’t rank high on his “Things I Want To Do Ever” list. Yesterday was a jumble, something about a bet for Annie and then Reiner was leaning over his physics notes to stick his tongue in his mouth and? It wasn’t… that bad. It was great and terrible, like that last drink at one in the morning that you know is going to make you puke when you wake up, but it’s so worth it in the moment. And…

He hadn’t had a drop of alcohol last night, but he wanted to puke all the same.

But he couldn’t hide under Reiner’s bedsheets forever. One, he was naked, and he hated being naked out of the shower for more than a few minutes. Two, at some point Reiner would want his bed back.

He rolled over to scout out the room with his eyes from the blanket sanctuary, searching for something like his clothes. He already knew that he and Reiner could only share clothes in extreme circumstances – they just had different builds with different needs. He didn’t see his boxers anywhere, but his shirt was thrown over the pile of them on the dresser, and his jeans were buried under the cast-aside quilt just in reach. He leant precariously off the bed to snatch at them with the tips of his fingers, then blindly jerked them on under the covers, inch by wriggling inch. When they were up enough, he slipped out of bed, straightening the sheets behind him, and buttoned his jeans before yanking on his shirt.

When he stepped out of Reiner’s bedroom, Reiner was sitting at their kitchen table, staring at him over a bowl of soggy cereal.

“Oh. Uh.”

Reiner looked away and pushed the Rice Krispies box towards the empty bowl waiting at his usual seat. Bertl swallowed, but sat down, focusing on the act of pouring a bowl of cereal like it was his physics final. The milk jug was sort of not cold. How long had Reiner been awake?

Reiner pushed a mug at him. Tea, because he hated coffee, with the string of the bag twisted around the handle. Mint. Bertl sighed, and saw that Reiner had only put on boxers.

Bertl’s boxers. Even though they didn’t fit.

Bertl swallowed and shoveled in cereal. “Why are you naked?”

Reiner grinned, eyebrow lifting. “Why aren’t you?”

“Because I like clothes.” He bit the inside of his lip and wished he had the stomach to make it bleed. He wasn’t really hungry, just swirling his spoon around in his cereal.

“Oh really? That’s not what you said las-”

“Stop. Just… stop.” Bertl gave up on his cereal entirely and slumped forward, face in his hands. Reiner’s chair scraped across the floor.

“B? Big Bird?” A hand touched between his shoulder blades; he shrugged it off. “Babe?”

“ _No!_ ” Bertl stood up and glared at Reiner, whose eyes were wide under his bedhead. “You don’t get to make _jokes_ and call me _babe_! That’s not-”

“Not what?” Reiner said, standing, too, moving a step away from Bertl’s toes, the grin gone. “Come on, Bertl, finish a God-damned sentence for once-”

“That’s not what I _want!_ ” Bertl would have gripped Reiner’s shirt, but he didn’t have one on, so his hands gripped at shoulders instead, muscles rippling under his palms. “I want…” He closed his eyes; it was easier to talk without blownout blue irises. “I want to – to sleep in your bed, a _lot_ , like all the time, your bed is great, and yell at girls that flirt with you, and hold your stupid hand whenever I want. I’m tired of watching someone else fall for you, watch you treat them like shit, tired of being scared of that happening to me. I just…” When had Reiner stepped closer? “I want you to treat me _different_.”

Fingers at the back of his head, weaving through his hair. He sighed in several stages, eyes still closed.

“Hey.”

He cracked a lid. Reiner was beaming like an afternoon sun. “I thought Annie was lying, but… you really do love me, don’t ya?”

Bertl couldn’t make a noise, couldn’t even squeak. But he nodded. Reiner laughed, but it wasn’t mean.

“Great. That’s awesome.” Reiner pressed his smile to Bertl’s open frown, and Bertl should stop that but he just melted, hands at Reiner’s shoulders coming around to his neck, holding him there with interlaced knuckles. Bertl lifted Reiner off the floor, just a hair, and Reiner grunted into his mouth, then laughed.

He pulled away and mussed up Bertl’s hair. “You could’ve just said so.”

Bertl blinked, then his hands started to shake. He lowered Reiner to his feet, arms shaking now, heart jerking around in his chest, breath heaving.

“Hey. Breathe, B. I’m right here. Breathe.”

Reiner guided him to the couch, pulled him into his lap like an oversized dog afraid of thunder, whispering into his hair and rubbing whatever of Bertl he could reach – a knee, his arm, his back. Bertl gulped air like water.

When he’d calmed down enough to be aware that he was _in Reiner’s lap_ , Reiner chuckled and kept him from crawling away. “All right, I see your point.” Reiner cradled him, almost, as the tremors of his panic-quake ruffled through him, and talked into Bertl’s temple. “You’re gonna have to help me out on this, okay? I don’t really know now _not_ to treat someone like shit, and sometimes I’m just an asshole.” Bertl choked on his laugh.

“But… _my_ asshole?”

“Any time you want it.” A beat. “That’s a bad sex joke _and_ a shitty way to ask you out. I’m on fire today.”

Bertl laughed again, cried into the top of Reiner’s head. Maybe bad sex jokes were really the core of this dumb guy that he adored. Maybe he’d just have to live with them.

Maybe he’d _get_ to live with them.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Bertl nodded, and Reiner’s fist clenched in his shirt at his waist. “ _Kickass_.”

At some point, they dragged over their cold tea and coffee mugs, not really noticing their temperature as they folded together in different paper patterns, talking in low voices until both of them were late for class.

They forgot about the cereal.


	4. THURSDAY: Express Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren/Armin

It’d been a tense two days on the lowside of their suite-style dorm. The events of Tuesday had torn a hole in the fabric of Eren and Armin’s friendship, threatening to rip wider if it wasn’t fixed soon. They’d been humiliated jointly, true, but in their attempts to satisfy their friends had said a few unwise things, ones better left wrapped up, and hands _burned_.

Eren had fled as soon as the attention from outside Armin’s room had been diverted, and hadn’t said a word to him since, locking his door for the first time all year.

He couldn’t live trapped in a bedroom with no food or water, no matter how deep-rooted his shame, though. He emerged after midnight on Thursday to brush his teeth and take out his contacts, because Armin always went to sleep early. Almost always.

Armin’s door swung open when he had his toothbrush hanging by his teeth and hand fishing for his left contact. “We need to talk.”

Eren’s mouth fell open, toothbrush and contact falling into the sink. “God damn it all.”

Armin ignored his curse and leant against the sink counter, staring at him and waiting. Armin was really good at the disappointed staring and waiting. Eren rescued his toothbrush and scrubbed at his molars, not even bothering with the contact. He scrubbed his tongue, the roof of his mouth. He was stalling.

His shoulders slumped, and he gave up – on self-preservation, this desperate avoidance maneuver, having clean teeth. He spat, rinsed, and put on his glasses, then slid to the floor and snarled his hands in his hair, staring at his feet. Armin sighed and sat cross-legged in front of him. And waited.

Eren could never decide if Armin’s patience was a flaw or a virtue.

He exhaled. It didn’t release any of the tension curled around his spine. “I can’t do the whole sex thing, Ar.” Staring at his feet was a bad idea; he really needed to cut his toenails. “I thought I could, just, y’know, when the right person came along or whatever, but you’re totally the right person, because-” He choked. “But I just. I can’t. I’m sorry.”

It took Armin a while to react, at least as far as Eren’s limited field of vision could tell. Eventually, he let out a rackety sigh.

“Well, that’s a bummer.” Eren barked a laugh, and then they were both laughing, light-hearted friend giggles from their decades of living near each other. Eren’s forehead found a resting place on his knees, glasses askew, as he laughed the last two days away.

When the laughter was gone, he lifted his head enough to prop his chin instead of his forehead on his knees and found Armin staring at him through his bangs. He still had a curve to his mouth, but he asked, “So, does this mean you wanna go back to the way it was before? Because that’s gonna be hard.”

Eren jerked. “God. I don’t… Ar, I didn’t lie or anything, I like the shit out of you, but, I mean…” Armin just blinked as he wet his dry lips. “It wouldn’t be… fair.”

“And it wouldn’t be fair to _you_ if I turned you down just ‘cause you don’t want to sleep with me.” Eren chewed his bottom lip, and Armin shuddered. “Yeah, it’d be hard, but it’d be worth it, right?”

“Right.” Armin smiled and reached forward to straighten Eren’s glasses on his nose, hand trailing down his cheek. “We couldn’t go back, anyway.”

“No.” Armin sat back. “We’ll figure it out together, eh? It can be our adventure.”

Eren smiled, shook his head. “This is crazy.”

Armin shrugged and stood, hauling Eren to his feet by his hands. “Whatever.”

Now that Eren looked at Armin’s face up close, there were deep hollows around his eyes, dark and purple. Eren’s eyebrows furrowed. “Are you okay, Ar?”

Armin smiled and ducked his head. “Can’t sleep.” He laced their fingers together – he’d never dropped his hands. “Come to bed with me? I won’t use my wicked ways to take advantage of you, but… it’ll help?”

Eren snorted. “Sure thing.”


	5. FRIDAY: She Could Be My Wife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasha/Connie. For those asking, yes, there will be two more chapters after this.

Everything was perfect. He’d found candles that didn’t set off the smoke alarm, the lasagna was in the oven, and he’d kicked out all three roommates for the _whole night_. Everything was set up just right.

Connie was gonna propose tonight, and nothing _would_ go wrong.

Sasha texted him that she was at the door of his building and to let her in, dumbass. He made sure that the oven timer wouldn’t go off while he was gone, fixed the placement of a fork on the table, and ran down to let her in.

She grinned at him when he threw open the door, then gave him a good up-down. “Did I forget our anniversary again?”

“No!” His voice squeaked, and he coughed. “No, can’t I look good for my girlfriend without a reason?”

She hummed, then stepped through the door and kissed him. “ _I’m_ not gonna argue.” She slid a hand over his button-down and breezed past him, taking the stairs two at a time to the third floor. He shook his smile away and followed.

She was waiting for him at his door, heels bouncing. He circled an arm around her waist as he unlocked his door, trying to kiss her ear but missing when she jumped on past him in, bloodhound nose in the air.

“Oh my _God_ , are you making lasagna?” She knelt in front of the oven door and shoved aside the dish towel draped over the handle. “Oh my God, you _are_.”

He laughed, nerves making his hands twitch. “Only the best.”

She stared at him over her shoulder, eyes narrowed and mouth puckered. “How much cheese is in this?”

“Uh…” He thought back, eyes tracing over the wreckage on the counter. “Like, at least three bags of shredded stuff, and a block of-”

“Oh my _God!_ ” She jumped up and draped over his neck. “You’re perfect. Marry me.”

His mouth flopped open, closed, open. “That’s _my_ line! You took my line!”

She jerked. “What?”

“ _Ugh_.” He grabbed her face and kissed her, hard, then fell to both knees at her feet. “I was gonna do this after cheesecake-”

“ _You made cheesecake?!_ ”

“ _Sasha_. Focus.” She giggled and scratched his head, upsetting his buzz’s perfect spiral. “Hey! Stop that!” He groaned and wrapped his arms around her knees, burying his face in her skirt. “Hopeless.”

“Con?”

“Yes!” He jerked away from her skirt and dug around in his pocket for the scrape of cheap velvet. “Uh, Sash?” He looked up at her, crazy hair and chipped tooth where she’d fallen off a library roof and all, and forgot his speech. “I love you.” His hand shook too much to open the box, so he just pressed it into her hand. “You… you know what I mean.”

He held his breath as she opened the box, smile gone. He’d gone silver and sapphire instead of diamond - she liked blue, and diamonds were dumb anyway. “You like it?”

Her shoulders jerked, her mouth biting and smiling and uncontrollable. She nodded, just once at first, growing into frantic. He let out his breath, nuzzling into her skirt again, just as the oven timer started beeping. They both jumped, and he scrambled to his feet. He almost forgot to grab the potholders, nearly burning his hands. Sasha was still standing in the middle of the floor, staring at the ring, when he had the lasagna cooling on the stovetop and the oven off. He watched her back, not wanting to move too suddenly, in case - oh wait.

“Was that a yes?”

She spun and pounced, arms around his neck and squeezing the life out of him. “ _Yes!_ ”

He laughed, held her close, smelled her hair. “Good. I don’t think I could’ve returned the ring, anyway, the dude at the store gave me the stinkiest eye.” She laughed, head thrown back, and he got her to let go enough to take the ring box from her. “May I?”

She was back to nodding, so he pulled the ring from its slot and found her left hand - her _left_ \- and bit on his tongue as he slid it on. Good, it fit.

She wrinkled her nose, flexed her fingers. “It feels funny.” She frowned at her hand, then glanced up at Connie’s face - double took. “Not like that! God!” She laughed - she couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m just not used to it.” She pecked him on the cheek. “I’ve got time for that.”

“Yeah, you better.” He kissed her, longer this time, and was a little breathless when they broke. “Food time?”

She shrugged. “Put some tin foil over it, we’ll eat later.” His eyebrows shot up.

“Who are you and what have you done with my girlfriend?”

“ _Fiancée_.” She wagged her new ring in his face.

He hummed, pulled her close by the waist. “Okay, _fiancée_ , what would you do instead of eating?”

She glanced over at the couch, at him, back again. “The boys are gone, right?”

Connie laughed, rubbed their noses together. “Fucking hell, do I love you.” They laughed, and Sasha and her wild eyes led him across the room.


	6. SATURDAY: A Girl Let Me Do It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa/Annie

_Thump. Thump. Thu-thump._ “My boys got together.”

“Fucking finally.” Annie shifted her stance and hitched the target pad higher, bracing her shoulder against Mikasa’s blows. “They as loud as my boys?”

“Sources say no.” _Thumpthump. Thump._ “I think that’s because Eren’s ace, though.”

Annie raised an eyebrow over the top of the pad. “Ace like asexual?”

Mikasa nodded and stepped back, nodding her head in a quick bow. Annie dropped the pad and threw it to the side of the practice room they rented every Saturday morning in the campus rec center to punch out their feelings. Now, though, they sat across from each other on the padded floor, stretching and rehydrating. “I’d had my suspicions for a while. He’s way too old to be thinking sex is gross unless there’s something else involved.” She drew the bottoms of her feet together and pressed her forehead to the mat. “I’ll have to keep an eye on them.”

Annie nodded. “Lucky my boys figured that shit out on their own.”

Mikasa smiled, just a little. “Our boys are paired off, Sash and Connie are engaged. Even Jean found someone to attach to.”

“Poor Marco.” Mikasa’s shoulders shook, but her laugh didn’t sound. Annie pinned an arm across her body, rotating her wrist on the way. “Maybe we should warn him.”

Mikasa shrugged. “He’ll figure it out.” She lifted the hem of her shirt to wipe at her sweaty forehead. “That just leaves us as the odd ones out.”

It was Annie’s turn to shrug. “I’m all right with that.” She rolled her shoulders back, answered Mikasa’s quirked mouth with a tilted eyebrow. “One more round, then smoothies on the loser?”

Mikasa hopped to her feet, checking her forearm pads. “Deal.”


	7. SUNDAY: Ways of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ymir/Krista. Last one, now I can stop flooding the archive.

Ymir’s end of semester/informal graduation party was rolling on without a hitch, friends and acquaintances wrecking her floor and creating chaos in her kitchen, but, whatever. You only graduate once. (Usually.)

She flopped down on the couch, where Krista was sipping on a red Solo cup and people watching. With a few pushes and pulls, Ymir got her head in Krista’s lap, long legs encroaching on some dude’s personal space, and Krista’s free hand in her hair. Ymir wrapped her arms around Krista’s stomach.

“You think you’ll miss this?”

“Yes.” Krista brushed Ymir’s bangs away from her face, but they flopped right back down. “But it’s about time to get out of here.”

Ymir grinned, eyes closed. “I feel ya.” The dude she had her feet on shoved them out of the way so he could get up and away. She stretched out in full, hogging the whole couch now. Whatever. Her house.

Krista’s petting was putting her to sleep. “Have I told you I love you today?” she said, opening one eye to watch Krista’s face light up.

“A few times.” Krista giggled.

“Well. Still true.” Krista hummed, one finger tracing the shell of her ear. “A fuckton of love,” Ymir yawned, nuzzling into Krista’s stomach. She laughed, making Ymir’s face vibrate.

“Right back at ya, crazy girl.” Ymir smiled, dozing off to the loud hum of the party and Krista scratching her scalp.


End file.
